


Dead Man Walking

by BrokenBookAddict



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Anger, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Closure, Coffee Shops, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Lies, Love, One Shot, Past Relationship(s), Philinda - Freeform, Reveal, Revelations, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrokenBookAddict/pseuds/BrokenBookAddict
Summary: Nothing is ever as simply as black and white, there's also a large expanse of grey.
Relationships: Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Comments: 14
Kudos: 96





	Dead Man Walking

**Author's Note:**

> Obvious disclaimer: I do not own Marvel's Agents of Shield. I do however, own any errors.

Being the middle of July, hot days are expected but today had been unbelievably so. Thankfully, now as the time drifts into early evening and the temperature has begun to cool, a gentle and welcome breeze makes itself known. 

Turning the corner onto one of the more quieter streets away from the hustle and bustle that comes with being in New York City and surrounded by tourists, she walks down the block to her destination. This temporary escape is welcome having been cooped up all day which given just how hot the day has been outside, hadn't been so bad in comparison, air conditioning becoming the star savior of the day. Today had been one of those never ending days where every moment had been spent going over details for what's to come tomorrow, rehearsing over and over until everything was on point and perfect. Tomorrow is a big day but for tonight, it's time to take a moment however brief to relax and to enjoy a city she very rarely gets to visit. 

Just up ahead, she spots her intended destination. It's a new coffee shop she had stumbled upon a few days prior, a place which makes the most delightful but sinfully naughty deserts imaginable. It isn't long before she's taking a seat outside the establishment, a small table for two where she makes herself at home. Dropping her bag to the floor, she retrieves a notebook and pen from inside and as she looks up, a young girl appears next to the table to take her order. She quickly glances at her watch to see it's nearly half past eight. Obviously she's ahead of schedule, her friend expecting to arrive anywhere between 8.45 and 9, once she's able to escape from the office. 

Smiling up at young girl who's clearly in college and making some extra money on the side, she orders a salted caramel frostino for while she waits, withholding on a desert until her company arrives. As the girl disappears she looks around, inside there are a few people milling about, outside a man sits alone with his laptop while an older couple converse lightly on another. The street is quiet, the night calm and cooling which is a relief. Across the road is a woman jogging with her dog, a spaniel happily bouncing along with her, a couple pass by holding hands. A cab pulls up and three women exit, laughing loud as they wave away the car turning to the small Italian just a few doors away. That's another place she's heard wonderful things about, the food apparently to die for and she pledges to try it before she leaves in a week's time. 

Dragging her eyes away from the street and people watching, she flicks open her notebook just as the girl returns, sliding her chosen beverage in front of her. 

"Enjoy." 

Looking up at her, she nods. "Thank you," she replies in kind. "My friend will be joining me around nine, I hope you have plenty of deserts available?" She teases. 

The girl laughs quietly. "Rest assured, we have a mountain of deserts ready to go. It's been a busy day," the young girl who she now notices his wearing a name badge that says Jenna, taps the table. "It's looking to be a busy night too. I'll come back when your friend arrives." 

"Thank you." 

Turning back to her notebook, she picks up her pen and starts to edit her notes. Time slowly drifts by and as it does, she allows her surroundings to slowly relax her. The sounds of honking horns and sirens in the distance reach her ears along with light conversation from the other patrons. The gentle breeze ruffles her hair every now and again, the cool taste of her salted caramel coffee tingling her tongue. The stress of the last few days slowly feels like it's all finally slipping away and she knows tomorrow it will return but for now she allows it to envelope her.

It doesn't last long, because she hears it. 

The familiar laugh.

She closes her eyes and fears not for the first time, that she's losing her mind. It's happened before but never like this, so clear and crisp and so achingly familiar. It's been such a long time and it had stated to grow few and far between when it would happen. Why now she doesn't know. Then his voice follows after and despite her thoughts screaming that it's just all in her head, she looks up and as it turns out which is just her luck, it's not all in her head after all. Unless of course, after all these years she's started to experience hallucinations because what other explanation can there be for seeing a dead guy. 

He's standing down the sidewalk, just outside the Italian restaurant talking on his phone. 

Audrey blinks... then blinks again. 

Clearly she's not hallucinating and clearly he's not dead. He's very much alive and laughing at whoever he's talking to. Dead men don't laugh, talk or walk, right? In movies sure, but in real life? No. 

Her eyes don't waver from him almost as if their held captive by his mere presence which she can more than understand because, she's looking at a dead man walking. She takes him in with a ragged breath of air, he looks the same but different, older and a little more rugged but just as handsome as the last day she'd seen him. He's dressed down in dark jeans and a navy shirt which shows off his broad chest and flat stomach, his sleeves are rolled up showcasing his lovely forearms. Clearly he's been working out and looks exceptional for it, you know for a dead guy. He's wearing glasses which is a new look for her to see, their dorky but the look suits him. He's always managed to pull that off, lulling people into a false sense of security before becoming the Shield agent he is or at least, who he used to be. She doesn't know what he does now obviously. 

Dead people don't hold down jobs, do they? 

His laugh cuts through her musings drawing her away from her inspections of his person. Watching him slip a hand into his pocket, he turns away, his back to her as he leans casually against a street light. 

She feels caught, trapped in her indecision of what to do. A large part of her wants to jump up and storm over to demand an explanation, to know just what the hell is going on? The other part of her tries to rationalise that it's been years, her hurt has been healed and she doesn't need the answers to the questions the other side wishes to scream. She's settled now, in her work and in her life, she has a wonderful man who makes her happy. Does she really need to open the old wounds? Is this because she feels a sense of betrayal for being lied too for all this time or because it could bring closure to that part of her past? She doesn't know the right answer so she struggles with the decision of what action to take. Is there a right one? On one hand she could close the door to that part of her life but it runs the risk of opening old wounds, wounds that have taken time, effort and a lot of therapy to heal. 

It's like a merry go round of feelings. 

As Audrey draws no closer in making a decision, her gaze never wavers from the man who broke her heart when something captures her attention from the corner of her eye.

A woman steps out of the restaurant. 

She watches as the woman approaches him, she's Asian, shorter than him and has dark hair, wearing black jeans and a deep purple blouse. Almost immediately upon seeing her, Phil ends the call. As his one hand slides his phone back into his pocket, the other slides around her waist pulling her into him. It's startling that she's not as affected by this as she imagined she would be, yes there's a feeling of sadness and yes, there's a sense of anger simmering beneath the surface which is understandable but it's nowhere near as heightened or as suffocating as she thought seeing him like this would be. There's no jealousy. 

Yet, she still can't seem to manage to tear her gaze away, it's almost as though she's hypnotised into watching the scene play out before her. 

Unbeknownst to their sole spectator which given their profession is surprising, Coulson pulls May closer to him, a soft smile gracing his features as he gazes lovingly down at her. God, how he loves this woman. 

May rolls her eyes at his sappy expression, slowly she slides her palms down his chest. "Thank you for dinner." 

"You're very welcome." 

"Everything okay with Daisy?" 

"Yep, just checking in. They just got back." 

"So they're okay?" Idly, her fingers trace the buttons of his shirt. 

He smiles at her concern. "No reported injures, Daisy was proud to report though Yo-yo did total a car." 

"I don't want to know." 

"Good because I don't want to talk about it. Tonight is just for us. No work."

May looks up at him, a soft smile in her eyes when she meets his own. "Did you tell Daisy that?"

Coulson nods. "I did though not in so many words but she got the picture, judging by the disgusted sound she made." 

"Oh?" She feigns ignorant. "What exactly does this picture look like?" 

His hands releases her hips to cup her face, where gentle fingers trace along her jaw. "You really want to know?" He asks teasing softly, though his eyes have shifted a shade darker making her breath catch just slightly. When she nods, he continues, leaning in to kiss her softly. "You sprawled naked in that big bed back at the hotel, legs spread wide with my face buried between your thighs, tasting you, pushing you ever closer...."

May's fingers twist into the front of his shirt, her body reacting to his words and the image they thrust forward. It's a guilty pleasure of hers, hearing him talk like this. For such a dork, he really does have a way with words. "Closer to what?" 

"Coming..." he rasps against her jaw, lips brushing her skin. "Eyes wide and pools of liquid heat, mouth open as you keen softly completely breathless. That's my favourite part, getting to watch you fall apart under my touch."

She feels like she could fall apart right here right now in his arms on the sidewalk. Shit, the effect this man has on her, the power he holds even if he's unaware of it half the time. 

She moves her head to chase after his lips, kissing him with an intent that doesn't need explaining. 

"Hotel, now." She demands softly when she finally manages to tear herself away from his mouth. 

"Of course, as my wife commands." He says only to happy to follow along. 

At the little table for two where only one seat is occupied, Audrey watches almost in rapt fascination as Phil kisses the woman she now recognises from the few photographs she'd seen in his apartment as his best friend and partner Melinda May. 

Clearly their relationship has changed. Watching then now she has to wonder about a lingering thought she'd had way back when. A moment where his expression had shifted before he schooled his features as he explained to her just who the woman beside him in the photographs was. She'd always wondered at the time whether there had been more between them and it doesn't come as much of a surprise now to see them wrapped up in each other. She can't say it doesn't completely hurt a little to see him with another woman, she's only human after all but he isn't hers anymore and she begins to question if he ever was. Yes, what they shared meant everything to her and she cherished it but he'd died, or at least she thought so. Whatever had happened then and afterwards, she obviously hadn't factored into it. 

Watching them now, as Phil barely manages to pull himself away from the woman in his arms long enough to flag a passing cab, the sun catches on his left hand and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise it's a wedding band even from the short distance that separates them. 

It cements for her the decision she struggled with since his aburpt reappearance down the sidewalk. The past is the past. They have both dealt with it in their own ways and moved forward, craving out new directions in life and new relationships. He's clearly very happy in his life. She's happy in her own, with an ever blossoming career and a wonderful man she'd someday like to marry.

As Phil disappears into the cab and they pull away from the curb, a soft smile graces her lips. 

Audrey realises her future happiness isn't dependant upon her past, on the need for answers and closure. Instead it's full of opportunities ready to be explored. 

A gentle touch to her shoulder draws her attention away from where the couple had been. 

"Hey, sorry I'm so late. Have you been waiting long?" 

Smiling at the arrival of her friend, she smiles. "No, not very long. I took the opportunity to people watch."

Kate drops down opposite her. "Anything of interest?" 

The fresh memory of the man she once loved, alive and in the arms of another woman flashes through her mind. "No, not really." 

As startling as it is, the words hold nothing but the truth. 

Audrey smiles, because she really doesn't need the closer after all. 

That chapter is finished. 

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.


End file.
